Puzzles

Sunday night and trying to get psyched up for work.  A typical day of doing all that needs to be done to get 2 kids, me and my husband ready for the week: laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning.  But the beauty in all the normality is that the four of us do it all together, so it isn't so much a chore as a family outing.  Running errands, shopping for the little stuff, it may not be a day at the park or something like that, but we are all together and dealing with the must do list.

Today my appetite was for calm and soothing...so what did I do?  I bought 2 puzzles (750 and 1000 pieces) and a roll away mat to work on.  Some people may think that's a frustrating thing, but the act of having to sit still and think of nothing except putting those pieces together is a mini brain get away for me.  Thankfully my husband is tolerant of my zone out time and helps with the kids so I can concentrate.  I like to fix things, and I can't always do that.  I think puzzles for me represent the frustration of wanting to make everything come together for the big picture, but the lesson in them is that patience, focus and time are the things that get them done and complete.

This is a lesson I need to re-learn.  I need to remember to take the time for me, and to allow time for the changes I need to make.  And I think time to figure out exactly what those changes are.  The obvious is there...lose weight, clean house more often...blah blah blah.  But I feel the need to make other changes too...emotional ones.  I know I have good intuition and I am good with people, and I want to know how I can use those skills positively...would they be a career change or just to do good in my personal life.  I want to be able to offer more to my family, and to my husband.  Right now I feel like I do all that I'm supposed to do...I go to work, I provide fairly healthy meals for my family, I make sure they have what they need, etc....but I feel BORING.  Like I don't have anything interesting to talk about, that I don't hold anybody's interest beyond the daily necessities and providing for what they need.  But I know I'm so much more than that.

Like anybody, I'm a puzzle...and maybe while I'm putting together the cardboard versions on my dining room table, I'll work on putting my pieces in order and create a beautiful picture of me.