Exercise and Me

Tonight's post is a cheat, I copied it from my Muchness post today at FindingMyMuchness.com.  But it's today's thoughts and achievements.

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm always thinking about Muchness.  Once you do your 30 day challenge and dig deep to find your Muchness, you just can't lose it.  You think about it when you see something pretty, shiny, inspiring, heartwarming....anything that gives you that little happy tingle.

What I have today is so not what I would have ever expected to say was one of those above.  Yes, I got a tingle, but it's all different, let me explain.

So the word that I have to say is causing this Muchy Muchness feeling, isn't really a word, it's actually an acronym: HIIT   This stands for High Intensity Interval Training. 

And it's kicking my ass.

See, for those who read my earlier 30 day challenge, you know how I feel about the elliptical.  I don't.  I hate it.  Well, I hated it.  But because of my ankle issues, it's a must do instead of the treadmill so I decided to suffer through and start on it.

I have always considered myself somewhat athletic, always like to be out and moving around and exercising in some shape or form.  And when I made it to the gym for any consecutive pattern (hey!!! 1 time a week for 3 weeks is a pattern!!!), I threw around phrases like "During my workout..." "At my gym...." "I work out" like the athlete I considered myself to be.  I mean, I looked official.  I wore the clothes, the shoes, carried a towel and a bottle of water...that's me, worked out.  I'd putz around the treadmill, lift weights at a few of the machines, wipe my dry brow with my always dry towel and pat myself on the back for a job well done.  I mean, what were people complaining about?

I need to back up a few steps....a few months ago I had a meltdown.  I messaged all my beautiful women friends on FB and told them I was fat, I hated my body and I had to admit that I have a problem with food.  It hurt, it was painful and it sucked to face the reality of what I had done to myself and where I was.  I sent my husband a long email outlining my failures and sadness and from him and my friends, I received the most beautiful responses of support and love and inspiration.  And so I kind of started to work out, and to kind of watch my eating....but I didn't get serious.

Fast forward to the beginning of March this year.  It was time to go for it.  I had big changes in my life, a new job, new responsibilities, house hunting, lots of stuff and I needed to focus.  So, I started tackling the elliptical....5 sad minutes one day, 8 the next....and some half assed weight lifting at the machines.  Not really doing what I needed but at least I was eating better and starting to lose some weight.

Then came Alyssa.  My friend Alyssa at work challenged me to join her in the Self Magazine Drop 10 challenge and do their workouts.  "Sure, why not?" I thought.  "I work out."  No I didn't.  I showed up.  I started doing the toning exercises and was a hot mess.  Then came the HIIT workouts......sprints on the elliptical.  WTH???  But I had to try.  The first, sprint 8 seconds, rest 12 seconds.  Seriously, they think I can rest in 12 seconds?  I couldn't even catch my breath enough to get a freaking drink!  8 seconds has never felt SO long in my lifef. But I did it, I finished it to the end and walked away with pride.  Then came today....sprint 90 seconds, rest 3 minutes.  I won't lie.  It wasn't pretty, I huffed and puffed, and I sweated, heck, even my forearms were sweaty!!!!  And this week, for the first time, I actually USED my towel for more than an accessory.  And I realized I really DO need more than one bottle of water.  And I had to sit for 10 minutes in the equipment room to cool off.  But I did it.  I DID IT!!!!  For me, a victory I never saw coming, but I DID IT!!!

Besides the fact that I feel like I conquered a massive obstacle, I've lost 12 lbs. this month, 3 of those since I started the HIIT workouts.  And I'm losing inches, but I only measured myself tonight so I don't know the total.  I owe Alyssa a huge thank you, even if I do curse her a little during the supposed rest periods :-)    And I owe my husband an even bigger thank you, because ever since I poured my sad fat heart out to him, he has been the most amazing cheerleader in my journey, I don't think there's anyone who wants to see me succeed more than he does.

So HIIT has made me incredibly Muchy today....and even more again in the coming weeks (I'm faking bravado....I just peeked ahead to next weeks workouts :/  But I'm going to do it, because I need to keep making MYSELF proud too! 

Staying Motivated

Allrighty!  Three weeks of solid workouts and following my food plan and I am feeling GREAT!!!!

I've started craving the exercise and even though it is hailing and raining outside, I just want to run out and go for a walk, but I'll probably be figuring out an alternative indoor workout instead:  Hey, the Wii skiing works those thighs!!! :-)

One accomplishment this week that I am most proud of, sprints on the elliptical.  As some readers know, I despise the elliptical.  When my ankle issue was diagnosed and I was told to stay off the treadmill and only use the elliptical, I asked the Dr what was a worse scenario?  A blown up ankle or a heart attack?  And I was serious.

But I decided two weeks ago to tackle it.  First, I got all of 10 minutes and then slowly added minutes.  On Friday, I went for 30 minutes and every 3 did 1 minute sprints.  Oh, it wasn't pretty and I was literally a hot mess, but I did it.  And even with my fatigued legs, heavy breathing and sweaty body, I did a happy dance to have done it.  I nearly gave up a few times through.  I mean, nobody but me would know right?  But here's the thing....I have a commitment to be honest with myself, and put me first.  And that includes being accountable to myself.  So I was.  And I am proud of myself...so very very proud.

Let's see what tomorrow's workout brings!!!

Working It Out

So, I've been doing it.  Taking care of myself again and doing what I need to.  Yes, that means diet and exercise, which could be boring and hard but I've decided to try to make it fun.  Make it a challenge.  See, I'm a kind of competitive girl.  So there is a weight loss challenge going on at work and I joined.  There is a money prize at the end and I'm always motivated by extra money!

So that challenge got me kick started.  Not to mention talking with someone who doesn't know me, but is someone who knows anyone she talks to.  She re-inspired and re-focused me on the issues I need to address with both my weight and my health.  But she did it so postively and with a loving message, something I really needed.

I have made it to the gym three times in each of the last two weeks, and I have to admit that despite the early mornings to do it, I'm enjoying being back.  And get this:  I'm doing the elliptical.  Yes. Me. The elliptical.  See, if you don't know me, you don't realize that I FEAR the elliptical.  Wait, change that, FEARED the elliptical.  I used to do 3-5 minutes and that was me done.  But with the ankle problems I have, the treadmill and other impact activities are kinda out for me so I have to do the elliptical if I want to work out pain free.  So I decided to start small....5minutes, 10 minutes and yesterday....25 minutes straight on the elliptical.  For me, that is MONUMENTAL!!! And do you know what??? If I hadn't need to go get ready for work, I think I might actually have eeked out another 2 or 3 minutes....lol.  And then another challenge...the gym is doing a 6 week weight loss challenge so I bought into that one too.  So now competitive me has TWO potential money awards...hehehe...whatever it takes right?

But I'm down 6 pounds and I feel good about it.  I feel good about all of it and that's what I intend to carry into the coming week with me.  I read a book a while back called "Confessions of a Former Fat Girl" and seriously, she could have been me.  Her attitude, personality, everything...and she was right about one secret.  Start moving.  Once you start realizing that you can do that, that you are strong and capable, the rest will follow.  And it is following.  But with that I have to say....I may be following, but here I come!

Deja Freaking Vu

It's February 27th, and all my talk in December, well, I did it.  I talked and for a period of time I actually followed it.  But yes, stress and work and life, all the usual excuses happened. I have let myself talk myself into all of them, and I have no excuse for that.

But I had an intersting conversation yesterday, kind of hard to explain, but with someone who helped me talk to myself. Does that make ANY sense?  Well, it does in my head so yes, it does.  Anyway, "we" talked about how I get sabotaged when I begin to succeed.  That I allow myself to believe that I am not really going to succeed so why should I continue?  That I allow myself to let the doubts of others get in my way.  And that despite what I have believed all this time, I am NOT my biggest saboteur.  I'm not.  And I have a good idea of who it has been in the past and who it is in the now.  Identifying that, believing that, it's powerful.  It's powerful to believe that I, get this, ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL over this.  I can ignore the haters, the doubters and those that need to keep me in their safe zone.  In their safe zone, they know how to handle me, they know what to expect and it doesn't upset any apple carts.

But look out apples and carts, because I'm going to upset you all.  That is my goal, not just the necessary weight loss, the quest for health, but to flip the almighty bird to the ones who don't want me to succeed, and think I can't.

I love to be told I can't.  Because I know I can.

So, gym this morning and an actual full day of low carb diet.  This is my plan for the time being, let's see how it goes!

P/S: Just for clarification, my husband is NOT the sabotager in my life.  He is my biggest supporter and champion of finding myself and for my happiness.  I think most people automatically assume that the husband is a likely culprit and I wanted to make sure I was clear :-)