Inadequate is how I'm feeling lately.
I feel like I can't get done everything I want or need to. I feel like I know I should be eating better, but I'm not, I should be exercising, THAT's not happening, and I feel like I'm disconnected. I mean, I get things done, food's on the table, family taken care of, work done at my job, it's just without passion.
It's hard to describe these feelings, because it's not like I'm depressed or anything like that, but I just don't feel motivated to do what I need to do. And what makes it worse is that the trickle down effect of that is the worst. It makes me feel fat and ugly and undesirable, and if I feel like that, well.....I act like that. And you can imagine where it all goes from there.
I'm not being as nice as I could/should be, but I don't know how to make it stop. I need to take a step back and pay attention to what I need to hear inside. I'm sure there's a voice in there somewhere that can speak reasonably and get me to sit up and listen. I just need to be quiet enough, long enough, to hear it.
I read a great quote about just this sort of thing today and it's only now, nearly 12 hours later that I am remembering and realizing that I read it. It said "When you don't know what to do, do nothing. Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice." I think I need to do that, I've got too many voices calling out too many things, most of them not nice and directed solely at me. Not productive at all for trying to lift myself and feel better and to feel passionate about anything, and that sucks. I am a passionate person and losing my passion, well it just sucks.
I'll be working on finding and hearing that small voice so that I can feel and recognize the abundance in my life, and to feel more connected to all of it.
