It's February 27th, and all my talk in December, well, I did it. I talked and for a period of time I actually followed it. But yes, stress and work and life, all the usual excuses happened. I have let myself talk myself into all of them, and I have no excuse for that.
But I had an intersting conversation yesterday, kind of hard to explain, but with someone who helped me talk to myself. Does that make ANY sense? Well, it does in my head so yes, it does. Anyway, "we" talked about how I get sabotaged when I begin to succeed. That I allow myself to believe that I am not really going to succeed so why should I continue? That I allow myself to let the doubts of others get in my way. And that despite what I have believed all this time, I am NOT my biggest saboteur. I'm not. And I have a good idea of who it has been in the past and who it is in the now. Identifying that, believing that, it's powerful. It's powerful to believe that I, get this, ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL over this. I can ignore the haters, the doubters and those that need to keep me in their safe zone. In their safe zone, they know how to handle me, they know what to expect and it doesn't upset any apple carts.
But look out apples and carts, because I'm going to upset you all. That is my goal, not just the necessary weight loss, the quest for health, but to flip the almighty bird to the ones who don't want me to succeed, and think I can't.
I love to be told I can't. Because I know I can.
So, gym this morning and an actual full day of low carb diet. This is my plan for the time being, let's see how it goes!
P/S: Just for clarification, my husband is NOT the sabotager in my life. He is my biggest supporter and champion of finding myself and for my happiness. I think most people automatically assume that the husband is a likely culprit and I wanted to make sure I was clear :-)
