Disappointed

Ugh....I'm really disappointed in myself today.

I have been doing really well at work with not snacking.  I have walked by countless cubicles and desks and counter spaces covered in chocolates and cookies and candycanes and all that good stuff. All the easy to "drive by" foods.  I was thinking about it today and when I've done the crazy drive by eating before, I seem to have had this bizarre theory:  If no one saw me eat it, then I must not have.  Kind of a fat person's version of "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"  It's amazing the ways I find that I have used to excuse myself for eating.

Today was such a day.  After all the realizations I had, and doing as well as I did with all the baking I've done (not perfect, but better), I screwed up royally today. See, I've done a good job of clearing all the stuff out of my way, packaging it, delivering it and being gone with it, which helps.  Today I did something I'm finding I'm notorious for.  The food hoarding.

I took in a bag of all the extras in the house...the fudge, the sugar cookies, the pretzels, to put on my desk so everyone could help me get rid of it.  Which they would have given the chance.  Now, I did give away some, but there it was, sitting in my space, daring to smell good, look good and yes....taste good.  And I ate them.  Not every piece.  Not all of it.  But way more of it than I needed.  And I have to admit, I didn't make a very good effort at getting it out to other people...because I wanted it.  Epic fail in my goal of not being compulsive.

My name is Tine and I am a compulsive overeater. 

Tomorrow I will:
Work my tools
Eat only what I bring (breakfast, lunch and snacks are packed...NO EXCUSE!)
Call or talk to someone when I find myself feeling compulsive.