I feel like such a hypocrite. For all my "I'm in charge" "I had an epiphany"....I haven't done shit about it. Mind you, my ankle hurts like crazy and my lungs, throat and nose are not playing nice. But all still some sort of an excuse I guess.
And a hypocrite about some feelings. I have to act okay about things, I have to. But I hate *it*, I hate that I smile and say "That's nice" when I hear things about *it*, but inside I wish I didn't have to hear. But I do. Because if I don't, I make things up and imagine the worst. Not only a hypocrite, a paranoid hypocrite. And for no reason. None at all. And when it's all said and done, none of *it* really matters. At all. But I must say that going for a few days without thinking of that thing and then WHAM I hear about *it*, makes me feel ugly inside again. That's not right.
Maybe I'm just sensitive because I feel like crap. Let's hope the next couple days get better.
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